Amsterdam

For someone that doesn't smoke weed i was extremely excited to fly to Amsterdam. This was back in January 2017 so i knew it was going to be ICE cold. But let me take you 24 hours before my flight first. I had a photoshoot in Liverpool, glamour ofcourse. 5-8pm. Now this seems perfectly fine as i didn't have to leave for the airport until 3am. Well, that is where it started going wrong. As you will know, i have a bottle of wine on set to calm my nerves. Probably down most of the bottle before i even start shooting, boosting my confidence to level; It's Britney Bitch. By the end of my work day i am drunk every time. Okay i am the most unprofessional person EVER! But i do my job and i still do it well. So anyway, it's 8pm and I'm finishing up work ready to head home. But I'm drunk. I'm a nightmare. I don't want to go home, my hair and makeup has been done and I'm ready for a dance. So i get dropped off in the city centre outside O'Neils. Something i would call an old mans lively pub in Liverpool. I'm thinking to myself its a Sunday so there's no chance of me staying out. Oh how i was wrong. First thing i do is find a table on my own and order a bottle of Pinot. After that is abit of a blare. I don't mind drinking alone (if i am already drunk ofcourse), but from an outsiders view i probably look like a weirdo. I then make friends in the toilets as every girl does and i get roped into going to another club. Well, what a stupid idea that was! While i am dancing away to the Spice Girls in my element, the girls i had made friends with inform me it is just past 1am and remind me i have a flight to catch. FUCK! Flagging a black cab and sending drunk voice notes to people on the way home singing, i then realise i haven't even packed. DOUBLE FUCK! Getting into my house and throwing anything into my hand luggage i call K and tell her I'm alive, I'm almost ready and I'm most certainly still drunk. I got through check in and security so things are looking up. So what do we do while we wait for our flight? We order another bottle of wine. Excellent.

Landing in Amsterdam feels surreal. We start haggling with taxi drivers, both saying this is going to be a scene from taken. But we manage to get to our hotel without being sold to be sex slaves. Don't even think anyone would take me to be honest. Our room was so small but it was only for one night so it was a quick nap and out we go to explore. The fact i didn't smoke sort of limited my fun but most places sold beer so i was still in my element while the rest got stoned. Think i got high off the fumes anyway. Strolling up and down the canal there's so many sex shops, peep shows, windows ect. Women in windows, not just windows lol. We decide to pay into the Peep Show. Two of us squash into this small box with a window and inside was a girl naked dancing. I guess this is what you would see when buying a sex slave. See, it all adds up! Sussy. With my lack of sleep, inhaling fumes, and probably 60% of my bodyweight being alcohol, we head back to the hotel to get ready for the evening.

We have all booked a table at the Supper Club, and what an experience that was. It is one giant white couch all the way around the room with a DJ and dance floor. With a small table placed between each group of people. How this stayed steady i will never know. But you get small courses and drinks for a set price. I myself, was shocked at the bill. I am not a fancy person, i prefer more for your money. McDonalds does me fine. Cheap skate. Not 3 slices of raw meet and a bowl of rice to be eaten by hand. Not complaining though it was nice and an experience at the least. By this point i had basically been awake for over 48 hours. Trooping through life. We all leave the club and head for a walk around looking for somewhere to head next. We spot SEX SHOW in bright lights and all dive in. Taking our seats with our drinks the show begins. I didn't know what to make of it first. Until we were called on stage. It ended in a competition of a naked girl lying down on stage with a banana in her mouth and holding a banana in her vagina. And the game was who could eat the banana quickest without using their hands. I chose the vagina banana obviously. And Won! So now i can say I've been part of a live sex show. Just gotta live for the banter haven't you.
The show is over and so is our night as we all head back to our hotels. It has been a funny, short break and i would like to go to Amsterdam again. Maybe on more sleep and for abit longer next time though...